don’t say you’re a writer if you just write fanfiction for your entertainment. you’re only a writer if you kill a bear with a typewriter to appease the spirit of hemingway and slather yourself in ink in tribute to shakespeare, the one true over-penis of literature.
If you relapse, repeat after me:
- You are not weak.
- You have not lost this battle.
- You are not selfish.
- You are not out of control.
- All the progress you made hasn’t magically disappeared.
- You are not a failure.
- Life is a cycle of highs and lows- good times are ahead, so keep going forward.
- You matter.
oh yeah so today a possible beekeeper with a long beard came in and he just had no idea what the fuck was happening and he was like where can I get a copy of USA Today and I was like uhhh???? CVS??? and he was like ok and then he left and came back and was like hey i locked my keys in my car and we had to call somebody to get his car unlocked for him and he was just so confused and so bearded and old and his hat said something about being a beekeeper
SMELL LIKE A MAN
SPORT SCENT SO EVEN WHEN YOUR CLOTHES ARE CLEANED AFTER SPORTS YOU STILL SMELL LIKE SPORTS
SMELLING LIKE SPORTS MEANS YOU ARE A MAN BECAUSE ALL MEN PLAY SPORTS AND IF YOU DO NOT ALWAYS HAVE SPORTS SMELL YOU NEED TO MAN UP!
SMELL LIKE YOU CAN MAN AND ALSO LIKE YOU CAN SPORTS
It’s seriously amazing how patience and kindness can transform a dog’s behavior, and I’m exhausted and hungry and gross and everything but I’m glad to have the opportunity to help at least a few of these dogs feel better.
This is Rugby and MY MOOSE. Both Rugby and Moose are wonderful dogs available for adoption in NJ. Rugby is a big mush. Moose was a little fearful when he came in but he’s warmed up and is very sweet. The day I met him, he cowered. Today, he wagged his tail and play-bowed at me when I came to his run.
i had a dream that i was being forced into some kind of cult but i also figured out it was a dream so to convince them i was dreaming i leaped out of this tower and jimmy neutron’s dad jumped after me to save me, with a wasp’s nest on his head as a helmet, so i was alive, but then i had to leave jimmy’s unconscious dad behind and run from the wasps. also there was a sort of oitnb part and themumblybee was there
really please can you imagine that. jimmy neutron’s dad, with a wasp’s nest on his head, diving off the top of a tower to wrap his arms around you and shield you from certain death
That’s breathtakingly beautiful. But was I in prison? Was I being helpful in any way or just ignoring your plight?
no, no, you weren’t in prison. when i was trying to escape the wasps i was running through your-house-that-wasn’t-really-your-house, and you were just kind of chillin. i guess the lesson to be learned from all this is that bees and wasps get along okay after all
what a great lesson <3
how the hell do i talk to people
Stand in front of them and press A
"i’m just being the devil’s advocate" did he send you from hell??????? is he paying you for that job or is part of your punishment for being a terrible human being that you gotta do it for free
- Platonic reassuring shoulder/arm/hand grabbing
- Platonic tight, meaningful hugs
- Platonic late-night deep conversations that end in at least one person holding back tears or sobbing
- Platonic sleeping in the same bed
- Platonic forehead touches
- Platonic staring into each other’s eyes like the other person is the world
- Platonic CUDDLES
SUPER CLOSE PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS